Technology And The Elderly: Being Left Out And Left Behind

Fr. Dale Matson

About 20 years ago I was introduced to “email” by our Information Technology (IT) folks at the University. During my tenure, there was an ongoing struggle to communicate with the technology types who walked us through every new computer software and hardware upgrade. Keeping pace with the changes was a professional requirement and responsibility.

I am retired but my professional requirements as a publisher and priest help keep me apace of changes. My latest challenge was installing a new wireless printer for our home computers. The trick was getting the machines through a process called ‘discovery mode’ (a small and uncertain window of opportunity) to recognize and communicate with each other.

I have older siblings and friends who have not been as fortunate, who lack the initiative, curiosity or ability to keep pace with the technology. Computer literacy is no longer optional. It is a necessary requirement for citizenship. To some extent, computer software and hardware have become more ‘user friendly’. Those who could not reprogram the clock on their VCR ten years ago after a time change or power outage can deal with the DVR that has replaced it.

While computer technology is more user friendly, computer technology is also more pervasive. It is common now to ‘talk’ with a computer when making a reservation. Those who are frustrated by internet organization websites can’t really bypass the technology by talking to a person on the phone any more.

Navigating the menus and sub-menus requires careful listening and patience. What about my question which is not one of the menu options? What about my question which is not one of the ‘Frequently asked questions’ (FAQ’s)? How many people are there like me who hear the dreadful comment on the phone, “For more information please go to our website www. [fill in the blank] com? I was on the phone because I couldn't navigate the website in the first place. If only more government websites were designed like Amazon.com?

I recently made a reservation for a wilderness permit online. It was not easy and I only have the receipt to pick up the trail permit, not the actual permit. Reservations can no longer be obtained by phone. Increasingly there is no person out there who can answer your question or direct you to a person who can answer your question. Google has become the ‘go to’ option of choice. Reference librarians are becoming extinct. It has become high tech-low touch.

The reason I brought this up is how difficult things have become for those who have not kept up with the technology. Those folks have no choice but to live in a world that is shrinking as they age. They are becoming isolated and alienated.  It is because they lack the life skills to interface with the modern world. An octogenarian triathlete friend has to have another friend enter him in the local events because he cannot go beyond receiving email on his computer. This is a person who otherwise is very engaged in life and remains a social person.

I believe the church has a missionary opportunity and responsibility to help the elderly access their world. Those of us who can use the technology can come alongside those who cannot. Those who cannot are being left behind and left out. It is a modern version of caring for the widows and orphans. We provide help and hope to the homeless yet we ignore the isolation of those in our congregations who lack the necessary computer skills. These skills are a means to help keep these folks connected and self-sufficient. Even after losing a driver’s license, they can still ‘get around’ on the internet. The internet is also a way to remain connected to the church family and activities.

Thirty years ago my father-in-law took tape recordings of the church service to the home-bound. We can do much better than this today. An obstacle for others is an opportunity for us and an opportunity to serve Christ in others.   

GAFCON II: A Way Forward For Anglicanism

Fr. Dale Matson

“The Archbishop of Canterbury has used his first presidential address to the General Synod to call on the church to recognise that the ‘cultural and political ground’ in Britain is ‘changing’, and to ‘accept that there is a revolution in the area of sexuality, and we have not fully heard it’". http://www.churchtimes.co.uk/articles/2013/5-july/news/uk/church-must-accept-there-is-sexual-revolution,-welby-tells-synod

I wrote in January of 2011. “Will the See of Canterbury remain the focal point of 21st Century Anglicanism”? “It can remain the center of Anglicanism but Canterbury must represent more than the historical roots of Anglicanism viewed through the blurred lens of contemporary culture. It must represent the heart of the faith also. This is what is missing.” http://sanjoaquinsoundings.blogspot.com/2011/01/way-forward-for-canterbury-anglicanism.html

At that time ++Rowan Williams was still the Archbishop of Canterbury and I called for him to step down in hopes that someone who reflected the majority of the mind of the Anglican Communion and the church catholic would lead the World Wide Anglican Communion in the 21^st Century. ++Williams did step down (I am sure he made the decision apart from my urging). He was followed by ++Justin Welby and early signs http://sanjoaquinsoundings.blogspot.com/2012/11/justin-welby-reconciliation-or.html   have proven to be reliable indicators that ++Welby is ++Williams 2.0. http://sanjoaquinsoundings.blogspot.com/2012/11/the-error-of-human-flourishing-as.html and http://sanjoaquinsoundings.blogspot.com/2013/03/canterbury-repentance-and-reformation.html

What ++ Justin Welby has essentially said here is that the church needs to accept what contemporary culture is promoting, repent that she hasn't come on board and prepare herself for even more change “…we have not fully heard it.” Apparently he has not just been “listening”. He perceived “notable hostility” to the churches’ position which he had supported in opposing the Same-sex Marriage Bill. He then went on to discuss “homophobic bullying” which is another issue. Bullying of anyone is morally wrong. Isn't the murder of Christians because they are Christians a serious matter also?

Am I asking for ++Justin Welby to step down? No, because I believe he does represent the progressive mind of the Church of England, TEC and the Anglican Church of Canada.

The Church of England and ++Welby are culture bound. They formerly sent missionaries to the far corners of the earth. Much of the pushback against Canterbury is from lands Canterbury missioned through the Society for the Propagation of the Gospel. The prophetic voice for Anglicanism is from the Global South not Canterbury.  It should be Canterbury speaking truth to power not cowering and renting her garments because she is ashamed of her guiding documents and Lord. Does accommodating the cultural change make the church more relevant; more genuine; more truthful; more liked? Does ++Justin Welby actually speak the mind of the WWAC any more than the former ABC ++Rowan Williams? His collaboration, while cloaked is progressivism not true reconciliation or repentance.

The bitter irony is that Canterbury in an attempt to be more relevant and responsive to her immediate culture has made herself less relevant to the Christian church in general and the WWAC in particular. Since when does taking the majority side make the church right or more liked? Does Canterbury even understand that lukewarm Christianity is no match for Islam which will ascend to power by demographics alone? England is in danger of having a new and less tolerant established religion.

The title of my article is “A Way Forward For Anglicanism”. It is different than two years ago. We are further down the road. There is more clarity.  GAFCON II will be meeting in Kenya in October. I am hopeful. The press release states in part, “We continue to face the triple challenge of skeptical secularism, militant religion and compromised Christianity. GAFCON 2013 has been summoned so that GFCA can help both plan for and experience the future of the Communion of which we, with many others, are part.”   http://anglicanink.com/article/press-release-gafcon-ii-set-october  It is the “compromised Christianity” that most troubles me.

Christians: Strangers In A Strange Land

Fr. Dale Matson

A Stranger In A Strange Land is the title of a novel written by Robert Heinlein and published in 1961. It is the story of a human born and raised on Mars by Martians. He was later brought back to earth. The protagonist Valentine Michael Smith has supernatural powers and intelligence with almost limitless funds. He is attracted to the ideals of a neo pagan hedonistic cult and founds his own cult “Church Of All Worlds”. He is eventually murdered by a mob instigated by the rival ‘Fosterites’ cult, his body is eaten by his followers and he has post death appearances.

   

It is not an original story with Smith being a pagan version of a Christ-like figure. Even the title is from Exodus 2:22, “And she bare him a son, and he called his name Gershom: for he said, I have been a stranger in a strange land.”

Heinlein had an interesting remark about his book. "I had been in no hurry to finish it [the book], as that story could not be published commercially until the public mores changed. I could see them changing and it turned out that I had timed it right." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stranger_in_a_Strange_Land

A pagan “Church Of All Worlds (CAW) was actually formed in 1968 using ideas from the book. “This spiritual path included several ideas from the book, including polyamory, non-mainstream family structures, social libertarianism, water-sharing rituals, an acceptance of all religious paths by a single tradition, and the use of several terms such as "grok", "Thou art God", and "Never Thirst". Though Heinlein was neither a member nor a promoter of the Church, it was formed including frequent correspondence between Zell and Heinlein, and he was a paid subscriber to their magazine.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stranger_in_a_Strange_Land

The similarities with the contemporary Episcopal Church  (TEC) and CAW are both striking and unfortunate. “CAW's members, called ‘Waterkin’, espouse paganism, but the Church is not a belief-based religion. Members experience Divinity and honor these experiences while also respecting the views of others. They recognize "Gaea," the Earth Mother Goddess and the Father God, as well as the realm of Faeries and the deities of many other pantheons. Many of their ritual celebrations are centered on the gods and goddesses of ancient Greece.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Church_of_All_Worlds

Heinlein was right when he said that the public mores had changed when his book was published in 1961. It was the beginning of the era of sex, drugs and rock and roll. There is a certain irony in this because I was a part of that changing society. I had been raised in a different Kingdom. I was raised in the Baptist church with much of my formation in the 1950’s.  The 60’s transported many of us to a new planet; a new era. I came to believe, that God was dead and that abortion was a good solution to the “Population Bomb” (Paul R. Ehrlich, 1968). My morals changed with this new world of premarital sex, drugs and rock music that promoted a pagan life. It almost destroyed my life and did destroy the lives of many around me. I am a survivor of that era.

Having been rescued by Christ, I became a stranger in a strange land. It is a land on a trajectory of entropy not evolution. The people of this land are rushing headlong into an abyss. One characteristic for the unsaved people today is their state of confusion. No matter how words are arranged, much of what is said is nonsense. It is word salad. It is a kind of “New Speak” lacking meaning. “If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.” (1^st Corinthians 13:1) “At that time many will turn away from the faith and will betray and hate each other, and many false prophets will appear and deceive many people. Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold.” (Matthew 24:10-12) 

Are you a stranger in a strange land? I believe these are the last days, Lord, pour out Your Spirit on all flesh.

  

Following Christ And Serving His Church

Fr Dale Matson

The Sunday readings for proper eight are a call and a challenge to us who are followers of Christ. Do you still have that zeal, that fire in the belly? Or are you pleading with God, “Lord, restore a right spirit within me.” What does it mean to follow Him without question; to follow Him without reservation? How much should we be doing for Him and for His church?

*I think the Old Testament lesson while being similar to our Gospel lesson, tempers it to some extent. Elisha was given time by Elijah to put his affairs in order. In our Gospel lesson, there is a sense of Christ’s call being imminent and unyielding. Essentially we hear Him saying put everything aside and follow me immediately.  “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” But he said to him, “Leave the dead to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” Wow! There is not any compromise in that response.

What does He mean when He states, “No one who puts his hand to the plow can turn back.”? As someone who has plowed fields, it means that you need to focus on what is ahead. If you turn back, you will not plow a straight furrow. You will get off course. In this sense, it is a metaphor for the Christian life. So much of the Christian life is about moving on; putting the past behind us. Our baptism is a fresh start and a new beginning. Those of us who were baptized as adults put our hands on the plow at that time.

It is about forgiveness and forgetting. How am I so certain about this? Satan continually wants us to dwell on the past. He wants us to live in the past and reminds us of our past failures and the times we have been self-destructive or hurt others. Was that just a random thought emerging into consciousness about when I said hurtful things to my sister or brother or parents? Satan is called the accuser. The Holy Spirit is called the comforter. When these thoughts occur, I simply say, “Lord please forgive me.” What Satan intended for evil, God intended for good. Satan is the accuser, we repent and Christ is the restorer.

What does it mean to follow Jesus? What is the cost? First of all I believe service in the body of Christ is a fruit of our relationship to Christ. Faith without works that flow from that faith, are evidence of an immature faith. But how much is enough? Would God say that you should be serving your church 24/7? I believe Satan would say that, for he likes it when Christians tire of good works. He likes it when they become discouraged and resentful in their service. He likes it when Christians burn out and leave the church. Each one of us knows someone who worked with great zeal for a time, flamed out and eventually left the church. Many of us know members in leadership positions and on the vestry who no longer even attend church.

St. Paul has excellent advice for us who serve the church. This passage is great advice on stewardship of both funds and time offered to the church. “Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver." If you are not a cheerful giver of your money and time, then it is time to reflect on why this is. For each of us, there is a different kind and level of stewardship God requires of us. The level of resentment is to service as temperature is to health. If you are taking on more and more duties and your level of resentment is increasing then it is time to learn a new word, “No”.

In Morning Prayer one of our collects states in part, “To know Him is eternal life and to serve Him is perfect freedom.” Keep in mind that we are serving Christ in others. We are not serving others. We are led by the Spirit to exercise God’s gifts. Serve God and be free and find rest.

* 1 Kings 19:15-16, 19-21,Galatians 5:1, 13-25, Luke 9:51-62

Difficult Conversations

Fr. Dale Matson

“Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” (Colossians 3:21)

I traveled to Kentucky recently for the baptism of my newest grandson.  Unlike my father who refused to discuss uncomfortable things with his sons, I took the bull by the horns and used the opportunity to try and clarify the past. The three of us were seated in a hamburger shop for a meal prior to attending the new Superman movie.  My younger son stated, “Dad I’m a control freak. That is what comes from being raised in chaos.” After a few moments to catch my breath and reflect, I said defensively. “Could it have been worse?” He replied, “Yes, we could have been physically abused.” Somehow, I wasn't comforted. My older son looked uncomfortable as if he had an acute and sudden onset of indigestion. The conversation would not be on a safe topic. He would rather have been waxing eloquent on the NBA final series between the Spurs and the Heat.  “Dale, you could have done more things with me. You could have taught me more things. It was always tense and harsh at home.” He sometimes calls me dad but ten years or so ago he began calling me by my first name. It grates on me but there is not much I can say that hasn't come across as critical. It would just be one more criticism in a lifetime litany of criticisms.

Developmental psychologists talk about differing parenting styles but each child is different from the other. Each child requires a different parenting approach. As their father I adopted a father role in reaction to my father. I was critical of my father and used him as a negative role model. It was a big mistake. That approach yielded a man just as flawed and distorted as my father. He was uninvolved and emotionally distant. I was overinvolved, harsh and punitive. My father was ashamed of me because I was emotional and I was ashamed of my sons because they were not emotional. There did not seem to be a fire in the belly.

I have asked for their forgiveness more than once and depending on their moods, I have been absolved or sent back to purgatory. I think how long it took for me to forgive my father. I do remember telling him on the phone that I loved him and his response was, “You’re not going to kill yourself are you?” He wrote two letters to me at my insistence and the first was signed, “Yours Truly.” The second was signed ‘Love”. It is hard for a man to say to his sons that he loves them. It was even harder for his generation. At about age fifty I chose to love him too. It unlocked a lot of good memories held captive by anger. He has passed on and all that is left are the good memories of my father.

It has been difficult and painful as God has reminded me gradually of my failures to love my sons for who they were and my stubborn unwillingness to honor their life choices. That was how my dad was with me too. I was never able to measure up in his eyes and eventually stopped trying to please him or be him. That does not mean that I don’t look for “atta boys” from others to this day. It is hard to hear it when my older son says, “You think you've changed but you’re still the same.” If only he meant it in a good way.

Toward the end of his life, I was a good parent to an aging and feeble father. I was sometimes impatient with his denial of his life destroying cancer. I believe and hope my sons will come to a peace about me and it will free up good memories for them too. They will laugh about how hard I made them work just as my brother and I laugh when we tell once again, the war stories of our youth.  They are good and honorable men. I love them and tell them so.

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4) 

Trails

The Palisades

John Muir Trail

Fr. Dale Matson

As someone who has searched for lost individuals off trails, I know how foreboding and difficult it can be to navigate the wilderness without trails. Trails are highways through the wilderness. They are a thin ribbon often called ‘single tracks’. Trails are the shortcut. They are the way into and out of the wilderness. They take us to a timeless time zone. Most often they are ‘use’ trails headed over a mountain pass, to a view or to lakes. Trails frequently follow the course of a creek or a river which is also good for necessary hydration. As you proceed, there are signs on trees called reassurance markers or blazes. When the trail is faint, they reassure the traveler that he is headed in the correct direction. On large stretches of open areas there are often cairns made of stacked rocks. There are other more subtle signs for the experienced traveler. Trails are also used by pack animals and their scat can help when the trail is uncertain. It is also common to see deer and bear track on human made trails.  The residue from soiled boots leaves a telltale travel sign on smooth granite. Trails through meadows are well worn, deep and certain. Trails on steep climbs and descents zigzag in what are called switchbacks to make the climb less steep. One must be careful on a descending trail not to follow the waterway diversion path, designed to keep the trail from washing away during spring runoff and thunderstorms. Ferns open as you approach and close like curtains on the trail behind you.

Trails lead us deeper into the wilderness and deeper into ourselves. Suddenly you are so small and insignificant. You are like the protagonist in the movie “The Incredible Shrinking Man”. The surroundings are timeless and indifferent to your presence.  Your footsteps will be erased by the next storm. The granite in sunlight is warm to the touch on a cool windy day. The wind at high elevations blows continuously and makes a narrow knife edge trail a test of courage too. Our hearts pound like a drum in our chests in an uncustomary way as we climb in thinner air. Trails along water bring mosquitos in the early and late hours and deerflies and horseflies and gnats in the hotter part of the day. Thank God for Deet.

Trails bring surprises. All you have to do is turn around and your view can be even better than the slow motion wonderland you are walking into. A partridge flies up and startles you. The brush cracks and a deer bolts into the trees. A coyote (God’s dogs) barks and grudgingly gives ground. So often our ears perceive things before our eyes do.  Fresh bear scat steams in the cool morning air and you wonder if he is just around that big boulder up ahead. You see a stick and then it moves and then it is a rattlesnake and you give her the proper distance. After days on the trail, you hear an uncustomary sound at a considerable distance. It is a human voice and it is out of place. We expect the scolding jays and crows but not a conversation between other humans.

There are sections of trail that are not so pretty. A long ago fire turned a beautiful section of forest into a long lasting black skeleton. Switchbacks on the face of an open section of mountain are exposed, hot and dry at mid-day. There are sections of trail where the forest was flattened by avalanches and landslides. Downed trees across the trail force climb-overs and walk-arounds. Where did the trail go? They also give a renewed appreciation for an unobstructed trail.

Twenty years ago I ran trails and traveled fifty miles in a day. I was light and younger, fast and foolish. Today, the views most often require an overnight. An overnight requires a pack and a pack makes you heavy, old and slow but realistic.  As long as I am physically able to move on trails and have sound judgment, I will continue to use them to plan, dream and explore the wilderness.

Thank you Lord for the trails in the wilderness created by pilgrims before me and maintained those who follow after me.      

   

Father’s Day II: Being A Parent And Grandparent

Fr. Dale Matson

Last year I wrote about my late father and his importance in the lives of his children.

http://sanjoaquinsoundings.blogspot.com/2012/06/fathers-day.html

As a parent and grandparent to adult sons and grandsons the shoe is now on my foot so to speak. This is about father’s day from my perspective. I must confess that my role is limited to that of a consultant with my sons. They do ask for advice but don’t consider themselves bound by what I offer. In fact they are as often consultants to me. It is those same boys who would have emptied our checking account buying ‘action figures’ (boys don’t have dolls) who are now investment consultants for us. They are making their own mistakes and I have to bite my tongue about it. At one time there would have been the reflexive, “I told you that would happen.”

I cannot say enough how blessed we have been to have sons who are independent. They have ‘launched’. Our daughters in law and grandsons are healthy too. So often we hear that this is not the case with our friends.

Where is God in all this? He is saying this to me. He is saying, “Be there.” Much about life is a matter of showing up. It is all too easy to focus on my own goals and objectives and not being intentional about getting their life events on my calendar. Attending baptisms, graduations and sports events are all a part of being both a supportive parent and grandparent. Kids remember who was there. I remember those times in my own life. I can remember my own mentor Bob Wilson simply sitting back during his family gatherings and watching with a big smile on his face.  My friend Morton Kelsey once said that he regretted not having enough time for his family and grandchildren.

This is a confession of sorts. So much of life in the latter stages is about the wise use of leisure time. It is all too easy for a goal oriented person like me to see others as a distraction, and interruption or an obligation.  I am a ‘checker’ and when I look at my answering machine, my first thought is, “I hope there are no messages.” It is too easy to turn inward. It is too easy to focus on one’s physical pains that are called “benign” by my “ologists” who are necessary entries on the calendar.

It is not possible as a parent and grandparent to avoid the pain of mistakes and mishaps in the lives of our children and grandchildren. They are so connected to us that a band aid on a scraped knee causes us to wince. Striking out in a baseball game is our strike out too.

The sheer energy, enthusiasm and endurance of the grandchildren wears me out. They keep coming like tidal waves against an old sea wall. They don’t talk, they shout. They don’t walk; they run and jump over and across furniture. I have to remind myself that this is a blessing to witness these times of healthy chaos.

Today is father’s day and grandfather’s day at our house. I gird my loins for the activities that lay ahead. There will be no nap today. They all know I will head to bed at 8 pm whether they are gone or not. The word is out that I am hoping for new “Darn Tough” merino wool socks XL.

Thank You for Father’s Day Lord.