Fr. Dale Matson
“And I was with you in weakness and in fear and much
trembling.” (1 Corinthians 2:3, ESV)
One of the things that happen for me with Scripture is
finding new meaning in a familiar verse or in this case a word in a verse that
I had never noticed. I think God is selective in what we see and understand as
we read Scripture, gradually revealing Truth to us. This is consistent with Jesus
statement in St. John’s Gospel, “I still have many things to say to you, but
you cannot bear them now). When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you
into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he
hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come
((John 16:12-12). In this case, I had never noticed the word “fear” St. Paul used in the verse from 1 Corinthians.
St. Paul is a hero of the faith for me. He suffered so much
for the sake of the Gospel (2 Corinthians 11:24-28, ESV). In this passage he also
refers to his anxiety for the
churches. “And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of
my anxiety for all the churches.”
Because of serious and chronic health problems, I have been
more fearful and anxious this year. It is so easy to be preoccupied with the nature
of my own problems that they become an idol of sorts.
How often do we think of St. Paul’s phrase, “And the peace
of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your
minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7). How is this peace possible with such
physical and emotional suffering?
Although Christians are comforted by faith with the hope
that like their Lord Jesus, they too will be resurrected following their death,
they generally are not comfortable with the prospect of their eventual death.
Entertaining thoughts about death make us anxious and fearful no matter how
familiar we are with Scriptures like, “Yes, we are of good courage, and we
would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord.” (2 Corinthians
5:8, ESV) and “in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet.
For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we
shall be changed (1 Corinthians 15:2). We also have the Old Testament story of
Job as a witness. “And after my skin has been thus destroyed, yet in my flesh I
shall see God.” (Job 19:26).
But in the meantime,
what are we to do? St. Paul states, “Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities,
in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's
sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:10).
Over the last year this has been the case for me. God the
Holy Spirit has been the comforting voice in my day-to-day living. When we are
strong, we depend on ourselves. When we are weak, we depend on the prayers of
our brothers and sisters in Christ passages of assurance from Scripture and the
calming voice of the Holy Spirit. “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of
power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7). My weaknesses have become my
spiritual ‘hearing aids”. God has always been there, I am just a better
listener. I hope this offers some comfort to those who also suffer from anxiety
and fear. Even St. Paul admitted to these problems.
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