The Incredible Shrinking Man

Fr. Dale Matson

This is not the story about the man in the 1957 film who began shrinking after passing through a mysterious cloud on a boat. Eventually he disappeared.

This is about how God continues to save me from myself. Pride is a real flaw that I struggle with. And that is now why I refer to myself as the incredible shrinking man.

After a relatively healthy life, my age and genes caught up with me. The other day, I looked at the calendar and realized that one third of the days were medically connected. Learning three years ago that I had Coronary Artery (CAD) Disease was a total shock since I had been involved in endurance sports for over 30 years and pretty much saw myself as bullet proof.

I was hospitalized for placement of coronary artery stents. I didn’t know it at the time but when I was put on blood thinners to avoid possible clots in the stents, I soon had a severe G.I. bleed and was hospitalized again. I lost half my blood volume and it took over a year to regain normal hemoglobin blood levels. Why would God allow this? Life had lost a lot of certainty.  

Those solo trips into the Sierra Nevada came to a halt. Not only was the pride in what I could do gone, but the confidence that accompanied it was missing also. When a person is growing up, that person is gradually gaining power, rights and confidence. When a person is growing old that person is gradually losing power, privileges and confidence. In a sense, the person who is growing old is shrinking.

Last week, my hand went numb as I sat eating lunch with my wife. Then the area around my nose went numb also. We both knew this could be a stroke and immediately drove to the emergency room at the hospital. My blood pressure was 238/100.  I spent a week there undergoing MRI’s, CT’s, Ultrasound and Echocardiograms with no evidence of damage. I am now on five different medications to control my blood pressure. Why is God allowing this?

How small did I get last week? I got very small. I in no way want to compare my situation to many who are even younger than me, who have such agonizing and debilitating life situations. Why did God allow this? My worst problem is still my pride. I still need to shrink even more. My goal is to get small enough to go through the eye of a needle. It is my heart’s desire to be in the place of St. Paul. “For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.” (Romans 14:8, ESV)