Fr. Dale Matson
In 1956 Al Feldstein became the editor of Mad Magazine. At
one time I owned every 25 cent issue of Mad Magazine. The cover boy for Mad was
a fictional character named Alfred E. Neuman. Feldstein told the artist to
portray Neuman as follows, “I want a definitive portrait of this kid. I don't
want him to look like an idiot—I want him to be lovable and have an
intelligence behind his eyes. But I want him to have this devil-may-care
attitude, someone who can maintain a sense of humor while the world is
collapsing around him.” I adapted and used that portrait and that was the
beginning [of Mad Magazine]” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_E._Neuman.
Alfred E. Neuman always had the phrase, “What, me worry?” underneath his
picture. I always attributed his attitude of no concern to being clueless so I
was wrong.
The late Richard Carlson wrote a book called Don’t Sweat
The Small Stuff: And It Is Small Stuff. (1997) He stated, “Often we allow
ourselves to get all worked up about things that, upon closer examination,
aren't really that big a deal. We focus on little problems and blow them out of
proportion. ... Whether we had to wait in line, listen to unfair criticism, or
do the lion's share of the work, it pays enormous dividends if we learn not to
worry about little things. So many people spend so much of their life energy
"sweating the small stuff" that they completely lose touch with the
magic and beauty of life. Ask yourself:
Is there any way I can become even more loving than I am? Can I fill my heart
with more loving kindness? Can you, despite the fact that there are less than
perfect people in our world, think loving thoughts about yourself and about
others? Spread that love around as far as your mind will allow!” I would add to
that, put the best construction on what others say and do. Don’t take things
personally. Today, there is a common phrase we use. We
have borrowed the phrase, “No worries” from the Australians.
I must publicly
confess that I suffer from a chronic case of the “What ifs”. I asked Sharon recently,
“Why is it that I am bothered by the little things of life?” Why is it that I obsess about things over
which I have no control, things that don’t really matter in the long run and
about being failed by others so often? Why aren't people more dependable? Why
is my peace and contentment so fragile and transitory? Sharon’s response was, “It’s not
easy on those of us around you either.”
As
I reflect on this, there are four things that come to mind. The primary issues
are obsessive ruminating, impatience, mistrust
and abundance. Often, our strengths are also our weaknesses. For example, I
am very good at setting goals, pursuing, and accomplishing them with a single
minded focus. What I call focus, others might call obsession. Obsessive
thoughts that are pleasant comfort me. The “Prayer of the Heart” (Jesus Prayer)
comforts me. Changes in training (fooling the body) increase conditioning and strength
but threaten the psychological solace of a routine pattern. Training can become
simply a comfort ritual.
The
problem arises when there is a negative obsessive thought. It can dominate both
the thoughts and feelings. They are uninvited house guests that I house and
nourish and compose future scripts for. Let go, let go, let go! Stop thinking
about what you will say or should have said and just drop it. It’s such an ego
thing.
Patience
is not a natural disposition. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit. (Galatians
5:22) I have been impatient most of my life. Once again, this is another
feature of the ego setting goals. Getting closure can become pathological when
the desire to accomplish things means premature closure. It means manuscripts
submitted for publication replete with errors and friends who feel prodded and
bullied. On a large scale impatience contributes to disasters like the
explosion of the Challenger. Sometimes problems even fix themselves given more
time.
I
have difficulty trusting others. How often have I been let down by someone who
has promised to do this or that? Sometimes I inadvertently help the
disappointment by imposing too strict a deadline or standard. In short, I have
never found the Godly ground between too high an expectation and no expectation
of others. With my dysfunctional family background it seems like my prime
directive for friendships is that they be dependable. Where is the grace in
this? Is the bar set too high? Stop setting others up for failure. Stop judging
them when they fail. “I told you so” is not the response of a gracious person.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs
3:5-6) If only.
Finally, I confess that I am much more like the rich man in
the story of “The rich man and Lazarus. Most of what I worry about is quality
of life issues. For me, God has allowed a high quality of life. This past week
is typical. Our automatic garage door opener needed to be fixed and we have
been waiting days for the repairman. I have to be home in the middle of the day
to assist people who will be installing solar panels on our house. The list
goes on but it is too embarrassing to continue. I am continually inconvenienced
by my many conveniences. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
“Finally,
brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever
things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely,
whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be
any praise, think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8, KJV)
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