Fr. Dale Matson
I
couldn’t complete my morning walk Thursday and turned around for home while my
wife and dog continued on. I collapsed in our garage and managed to get to the
living room couch. I received a phone call from the doctor just then from the
lab where I send my routine blood work. He told me he had just emailed the
preliminary results because my hemoglobin was 7. Sharon took me to the
emergency room at St. Agnes in Fresno and I had a copy of the lab report in my
hand to verify that I was in trouble. Their hospital lab work showed that I was
at 6 which requires a blood infusion. I was put in a temporary room and given two
units of blood. Thursday morning, I was hospitalized with a severe G.I. Bleed.
My Hemoglobin had dropped from 17 to 6. Since this had happened before, we
suspected it was another bleed from an ulcer I have that has resisted healing
for the past 3 years. I was put in a semi private room with nothing allowed
including water for the next 24 hours. An endoscopy was ordered for the
following day.
My
own Gastroenterologist performed the procedure early in the morning and said
the ulcer was no longer bleeding but was probably the source over weeks. I was
issued the usual meds and hoped to be discharged the following day. The
hospitalist Dr. Wang said he would have released me Friday but my troponin
levels needed to come down. They are enzymes that can be predictive of a heart
attack.
In
my case, the elevation was simply the mental stress of being in the hospital,
So I did what I could to calm down and hoped the next day I could be released.
I turned the closed circuit tv to the livestream view of the hospital chapel
and ate the empty calorie meals since I was still on a liquid diet. All would
be fine I assured myself.
My
roommate was discharged and later a new roommate was brought in. He was a street
person admitted for a diabetic crisis. He was a mess with only a torn tee shirt
and tattered jeans and a long beard. He immediately turned on his tv to the 24-hour
baseball channel and promptly fell asleep.
I thought
to myself, “God, why have you done this
to me? There is no way my enzyme levels will drop next to this wretch of a
man who could care less about me, my privacy or needs. I may never get out of
here.” It seemed my veneer of sanctity was slipping with every hour. At 11:30
last night I called the nurse and asked if he could turn down Jeff’s tv so I
could sleep. What a long night it was.
As
it turned out, my levels did drop and my hemoglobin stabilized. The hospitalist
released me mid-morning and I began to dress. I watched the nurse Tamara work
with Jeff and saw the compassion and care with which she treated him. I was
ashamed at myself for my own thoughts and judgments toward him. He said to her,
“I could leave if I just had some clothes to wear.” They had none for him. He
also had a flip phone to call some of his street friends and cuss at them about
this and that, but received no offer of help from them.
As
my wife and I awaited the discharge papers, I asked him a few questions. He was
the same age as my oldest son. He once had a normal life with a job but had
gotten into drugs and taken to the streets. This life is especially difficult for
a diabetic. He said that he was once hospitalized for a blood sugar over 500.
As
we left, I thought to myself that I had plenty of extra clothes at home but…” I
just want to get home again.” After a lunch and long nap, the phone rang and it
was Tamara the nurse. “You left your computer charger here on the unit. I’ll keep it at
the nurses’ station.” I said, “Is Jeff still there?” She said, “Yes, he is.” I
said, “I’ll round up some clothes for him.” She simply said, “That would be
nice.” Sharon helped me on the errand of mercy and drove me back to the
hospital. She obviously knew the way to my former room better than me also. Sharon
fetched the charger from the nurses’ station while I dropped off the clothes
and some money.
Thank
You Lord for a second chance to serve You in Jeff.
4 comments:
Getting ready to go to church, Fr. Dale, where I will pray for you and for Jeff.
Somehow, there is always someone in a tougher situation than our own. And you have God with you, always, Father, because of your faith. In your mercy, would you pray this morning for my friend, a woman fifty years old, who was diagnosed with Stage 1 lung cancer ten months ago, and is now in Stage 4. She is a Christian believer, but has minor children and a husband who will miss her greatly.
Good morning Katherine and thanks for your comment. I will pray for your friend. We are truly brother and sister in the Lord in Spirit having never met but being connected on the internet.
Reading today what you have again faced with health issues I sit reflecting on knowing you and being your friend and colleague for so many years Dale. We have shared a great deal during these years that include lessons for living and reminders that through pain and joy we remind ourselves that we are loved and cherished by the One who has known us from the very beginning and who (I believe) we have been learning to trust more and to give ourselves more to Him. All the early mornings devoted to training and to miles pounded to increase endurance and strength for those things important to you at the time must all be being called on now for the strength and endurance needed to face these challenges of a body that is weary and tired. I am so glad to know you and to witness what you have done with your life and I continue to ask for more time spent with you and to share still more living. Your brother that shared your room in Saint Agnes has some new clothes to enjoy when he returns to the street.
Thanks brother for the years of intuitive wisdom and companionship.
Psalm 119: 71 "It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes."
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