Bishop’s Note – The Charge

Bishop Eric Menees

Greetings to you my brothers and sisters of the Diocese of San Joaquin. I pray that you all had a blessed Day of Pentecost, even if it meant our worshiping via a virtual platform. The last two weeks we’ve taken a break from our discussion of the pastoral Rite of Holy Matrimony to focus on the collects for the Feast of the Ascension and the Day of Pentecost, but this week I’m pleased to continue on with our examination of the 2019 BCP Rite of Holy Matrimony. Some might ask, given the high tension and anxiety surging around us this past ten days or so, why not address racism, riots, etc. in this Bishop’s Note? The answer is because the greatest gift that the church offers society is a strong family founded on the love of Jesus Christ. Holy Matrimony, the joining of a man and woman as one, forms the basis of each family, and our families are the cornerstone of society and the nucleus of civilization. We may have immediate and pressing concerns in society, but if we want a society that’s stronger and more cohesive, improving marriages is a huge part of the solution. So today, we continue with our examination of the Rite of Holy Matrimony by looking at the charge given by the officiant. In the service with the congregation gathered together, the celebrant has laid out the theological and scriptural foundations for marriage.  The celebrant then asks the congregation if anyone knows of any reason why the couple should not be married according to God’s Word, and if so they should speak up or forever hold their peace.  The celebrant then turns to the couple about to be married and says:

The Officiant then continues, saying to the persons to be married I require and charge you both, in the Name of God, from whom no secrets are hid, that if either of you know any impediment why you may not be married rightly, you do now confess it; being assured that those who are joined contrary to God’s Word are not truly united in Holy Matrimony.

This charge isn’t a charge in the sense of an accusation or admonishment, but a charge in the sense of a spiritual exhortation. In the same sense that Baptism and the Eucharist as sacraments need to be approached both in a sense of faith and repentance, so too does Holy Matrimony. This charge begins with that recognition of God’s role, and then it continues with the officiant charging the couple to publicly confess if they know of an impediment to their being married. This is a confession to God but in front of the congregation and their fiancée. This serves as a reminder, for the couple and the congregation, that marriage should be entered into without trying to hide anything. As it says, no secrets are, or can be,  hidden from God. Like so much we’ve already covered in Holy Matrimony, this is a change from the 1979 BCP. The 1979 only charged the couple to confess so that they could enter into marriage lawfully, whereas this speaks to God withholding that union if they’re joined contrary to God’s Word. Holy Matrimony isn’t simply a legal relationship outlined by man that people sign up for. Holy Matrimony is a sacrament of the Church where a man and woman are made one by God. Each person is answerable to their spouse but they’re also ultimately responsible to God, the one who joins their union. Therefore, this is a reminder for the couple that they are accountable to each other and that keeping of secrets, other than a birthday gift etc., is dangerous to the relationship. Each person should both confess their sins regularly to God, and share and confess to their spouse the wrongs they’ve done them. For all of those reading this Bishop’s Note I encourage you to turn to God regularly in repentance and confess your sins, knowing that no secrets are hid from him. For those of you who are married, I encourage you additionally to turn to your spouse and communicate with them, making sure you don’t keep any secrets from them. If you find yourself keeping a secret from your spouse ask yourself, “Why?” “What is it I need to change so that I can be transparent before my beloved?” For those of you who are single, and called to marriage, my prayer is that you find the person God has called to be your spouse and that you truly may live happily ever after. I pray you all a very blessed, healthy and safe week.