The Bishop’s Note - The Presentation and the Collect

Bishop Eric Menees

Greetings to you my brothers and sisters of the Diocese of San Joaquin. I pray that you have all had a very blessed week. Last week we continued on with our examination of the 2019 BCP Rite of Holy Matrimony looking at the Declaration of Consent. This week we cover the next two sections, The Presentation and the Collect.

Who presents N. [and N.] for Holy Matrimony? Response     We do

Up until the 1979 Book of Common Prayer, the presentation always consisted of the words “Who giveth this Woman to be married to this Man?” and it was the father giving away his daughter. There was a clear sign of ownership in this sentence that doesn’t exist in scripture. Since then this section has been changed so the bride and/or the groom can be presented, and it may be done by their parents, or a significant person in their lives like their godparents should the former not be able to be present.        The presentation is important because it represents the broader community supporting this marriage. In most cases, it represents the parents support for the marriage and is a literal way of “letting go” of their son or daughter… not always an easy task. Of course, it also represents the literal leaving of the parents on behalf of the bride or groom in order to form a new family. As stated in Genesis 2, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” This is the couple leaving their parents before they become one flesh. This thought is continued in the collect that comes next.

O gracious and everliving God, you have created us male and female in your image: Look mercifully upon this man and this woman who come to you seeking your blessing, and assist them with your grace, that with true fidelity and steadfast love they may honor and keep the promises and vows they make; through Jesus Christ our Savior, who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

The collects in our BCP do such a good job of “collecting” together all the thoughts and intentions behind certain services, and we see that especially here. This collect is addressed to the God the Father, referencing him as the one who created us in His image, male and female. As in the presentation this hearkens back to the beginning of creation, and it focuses the intentions of the collect on the couple now standing before God the Father and His Church to make their vows, “Look mercifully upon this man and this woman who come to you seeking your blessing.” The couple shouldn’t be there simply because they “think or feel” this is the right thing to do or because the church is a beautiful place for a wedding. No, the couple come before God and His Church because they know that without God’s grace surrounding them - their marriage will be a house built upon sand.        Of course, that is exactly what the sacrament of Holy Matrimony is – an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual grace.        As we go through the rest of this sacrament, please keep this collect in mind and return to it often to reflect on how the different parts of the service tie into it. I’ll be with you again next week where we discuss some of the scripture readings read in Holy Matrimony.